Correspondence, E-mail Messages, Trivia e.t.c :

When we get even older..............

Dear Gary & Daniel,

We have been perusing cruise brochures and decided that there will be no nursing homes in our future.

When we get old and feeble, we are going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is £150 for the two of us per day. We have checked on reservations at Princess and we can get a long term discount and senior discount price of £100 per day. That leaves £50 a day for:

1. Gratuities, drop of plonk with our Dinner and perhaps the odd flutter at the casino.
    
2. We could have as many as 10 meals a day if we can waddle to the restaurant, or we can have room service ( which means we can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
   
   
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
   
   
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
   
   
5. They will even treat us like a customer, not a patient. An extra £5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help us.
   
   
6. We will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
   
   
7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.
   
   
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and we don't even have to ask for them.
   
   
9.  If you fall in a nursing home and break a hip, they dump you out and you are at the mercy of BUPA or PPP or heaven forbid the NHS. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! If we want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or wherever. Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for us in a nursing home, just phone us shore to ship.

Lots of Love,
Ma & Pa xx

P.S. And don't forget, when we finally pop our clogs, they will just dump us over the side at no charge, that will save you a lot of trouble.
P.S.S. Dad is going to try a trip on the Woolwich Ferry this week, to try and overcome his honking up problem every time he gets near a ship!